Happy New Year!

GUESS WHAT, KIDS! This is a cliché New Years post! So sit down, grab a diet coke, snuggle a dachshund, and just get ready to soak in all of this cliché.

2012 was a big year for me. I learned a lot about myself and I started a new major with a new journey. There were a lot of fun moments and a few sad ones, but there was always something to take away from them that made me a better person because of it. Looking back, I don’t think I would change anything about 2012.

Well, maybe one thing, but even with that I’m learning a lot about myself and I don’t think that I would have gotten the opportunity to learn about it unless it would have happened. I’m learning about how independent I am and am not. I’m learning that what I want for myself needs to come first sometimes. I’m learning things that I probably should know about myself before I get married. Do I wish I could have learned these lessons with Nick? Of course I do. But as much as I would like to, I cannot change what happened. I learned a lot when I was with Nick and I am thankful for all of the time that I had with him. Do I wish things ended differently? Of course. I loved him and I loved our relationship. But I can’t do anything to change what happened. I’ve done so much growing in the past four months and that’s something that I am really thankful for out of all of this. I definitely didn’t think that I would end this year single, but I know I’m not alone. I know I have a huge network of people who truly love and care about me.

2013 will be a year of growing and moving forward for me. I want to continue to grow and develop myself as a young adult and lay some groundwork for my life after college. I want to continue to strengthen the friendships I have now and work on the ones that need repair. I want to move forward and continue to learn from this break up with Nick. I want to keep looking forward and make new opportunities for myself and not dwell on the past, but use it to help me make decisions in the future. I’m excited for opportunities with school coming up in 2013 and excited to see where I will be this time next year.

I definitely never thought I would be where I am now when I was ringing in 2012, but I am happy where I am and I am happy with who I am. I am thankful for all the opportunites I had in 2012 and am so excited for the opportunities to come in 2013. 

Happy New Years, everybody!

Thoughts on Grad School

You know what is really scary to me? Graduate school. You know what’s even more scary? The fact that I only have 3 more semesters to figure out where I’m going, what I’m actually going to get a masters in, and take the GRE.

Now, I realize that the GRE is nothing compared to the MCAT or LSAT or whatever you take to get into dental school, but it’s still a pretty big deal. It certainly can help or not help with scholarships. Do you even get scholarships for grad school? I feel like this is such a huge mystery for me because none of my siblings went to grad school. Sure my sister-in-law went to law school but that is completely different. I feel like I’m wandering around my house alone in the dark with no flash light and no phone and I’m just reaching around trying not to bump into walls.

How I feel about the grad school process.

In a perfect world, I would get two masters: one in teaching and one in history. Unfortunately, you can’t get a masters in teaching unless you have a bachelors in teaching, which if you ask me is dumb. But the gods of higher education didn’t ask me and thus I cannot get a masters in teaching. I’m discovering that it is probably best for me to get a masters in public history for the museum aspect of what I want to do so at least I kind of have my foot in the door there.

Meanwhile, there’s still the huge question of “WHERE THE HECK AM I GONNA GO?!” Obviously, I want to go to a good school, but again I am COMPLETELY lost as to what is a good graduate school for History majors. It’s all just really confusing, so I guess I need to do more research.

And yes, I realize this completely goes against my post where I said I wasn’t going to worry about things as much, but I actually have some control over this. And it’s a huge deal. So I feel like a little worrying and a little being scared is okay. I’m moving towards the unknown here!

Until next time!

Christmas

Just a short post about Christmas today.

We had a great Christmas in Austin, Tx with my sister. Austin is a very strange place, but I'm glad that my sister likes it and it makes her happy. We got back to Shreveport today, and hopefully will get to see my brother soon. I am so thankful and blessed to be able to spend time with my family and receive the gifts they give me. 

Merry Christmas, y'all!

It Is What It Is: Finals and End of the Semester Reflections

Finals. The ultimate test to see that you didn’t actually learn anything this semester. Finals are the ultimate stress maker and ultimate sleep depriver. This year I at least had people in my classes that I could study with to make it a little less stressful. Oddly enough I wasn’t as stressed about it this semester as I have been. Maybe it’s because I actually understand what I’m doing for once. Maybe it’s because I’ve finally gotten into the groove of school, even if I am a little late to the party. Or maybe it’s because of what I think has become my motto for this semester:

It is what it is.

If you know me, you know I am a huge worry wart. You know that I worry about anything and everything going on in my life. This semester was a roller coaster full of things that I never expected. The biggest, obviously, was Nick and I breaking up. Not to mention classes, a new job, discovering things about grad school, and plenty of other things to worry about. Through everything, though, I have learned that worrying isn’t going to change anything. I think that’s my biggest accomplishment for this semester. Yes, I am still dealing with getting over this break up. Yes, some days I do still get sad. And yes, I do still wish that things were different. But worrying about all of that is going to get me nowhere. It’s not going to make Nick come back. It’s not going to make me feel any better to mope and worry about what might have been. There isn’t anything that I can do about what is happening between he and I. There isn’t anything I can do to change it.

 It is what it is.

All I can do is hold my head up high and be myself. Whatever is meant to be will happen, and worry about what is or is not going to happen isn’t going to change a darn thing.

As far as school goes, I have never been more relaxed about a semester than I have been this time. I know that I work my butt off for school. I know that I study hard and at the end of the day…

It is what it is.

I can’t do anything more that what is my best. As long as I study hard and as long as I continue to push myself, I can’t ask for anything more.

This semester has been challenging both emotionally and scholastically, but I learned a lot and I had fun. I can’t say I wouldn’t change anything because that’s not entirely true, but with all things considered it was definitely a semester for the books. I think I kicked ass this semester. I’m excited to see what next semester has in store, and I’m excited to move forward. 

Winterfest

December 6 marked our last concert of the semester. It was our Winterfest concert and it was seriously amazing. The Children’s Choir, Concert Choir, and Schola performed their Christmassy best and it was wonderful. Of course and as usual my awesome parents were in attendance with a pretty full house! I think this is the first time that we have ever run out of programs at a concert, so that was pretty exciting to see for Schola. Hopefully this trend will continue! I really am so thankful that my parents have come to literally every single concert we’ve had since I began singing in Schola three years ago. Being from out of state, I know a lot of parents of Scholans don’t have this opportunity to come see their kids, so I am truly thankful and honored that my parents are able and completely thrilled to come to our concerts. 

AND NOW FOR SOME SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION!

If you didn’t get to make it to the Christmas concert HERE is one of the pieces we performed, "Betelehemu." It’s probably one of my favorite songs we have done in my Schola career. Next semester if you’re in the Fayetteville area be sure to come check out one of our concerts then. Lots of exciting things are planned!!

PS: Be sure to "like" University of Arkansas Schola Cantorum on Facebook!

Dead Day

December 7. OFFICIALLY the last day of the semester AKA Dead Day, AKA a day of celebration! But what are we celebrating you ask? The end of the semester, a great semester for choir, just being done, Christmas is coming, you name it. It can also be argued that Dead Day is a day to mourn the end of your life before finals week starts.

SO on December 7, I went to not only Schola’s end of the year Christmas party, but also AOII’s semi formal. Both were WONDERFUL as expected.

The night began with Schola’s Christmas party. Of course it was Tacky Sweater themed and there were some AWESOME spectacles. My personal favorites were Molly’s Christmas cat denim shirt and Mallory’s claymation Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer sweatshirt. People brought all kinds of food and desserts, and once dinner was over there was a great game of White Elephant with some truly hilarious gifts. Choir people really are their own breed. After White Elephant was over, I had to leave a smidgen early to get ready for….

unfortunately missed the group shot, but still I love 'em!

SEMI FORMAL!

Semi is probably one of my favorite functions that we have every year. I really love being girly and getting dressed up and feeling pretty. I went with a good friend of mine from high school, Matt Light, and we had SO much fun! It was nice to go with someone who I’ve known for a really long time and just get to be goofy and dance like a fool all night. I had a fabulous time with all of my girls and their dates. We took tons of pictures which you can refer to my Facebook if you would like to see more.

Love these girls

Matt and I

This Dead Day was a ton of fun and was really special. I’m so happy that I got to spend it having a great time with great friends.

Until next time!

It's been SO long!

WOW! I can't even believe it has been since THANKSGIVING that I last posted! I feel like it's been a million years since I last wrote in my blog. I've missed it. I have a LOT to write about so, clearly, I'm not going to put it all in this post. I need to some to process and get my thoughts together but we'll get caught up!

Here's a list of things to look forward to!

• Reflections on fall semester
• Semi-formal
• Finals
• My new job
• Heading home for the holidays
• Choir Christmas party
• Christmas Concert

Man, typing out that list it looks like not that much has happened in the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas break, but I feel like SO MUCH happened!

See you soon!!

Thanksgiving: The Ultimate Thankful Thursday

Alright everybody its time for the typical, cliché Thanksgiving post, but I’ve been slacking on my blogging due to school lately and I feel like this is important. Especially since I’ve missed the past like 4 Thankful Thursdays so just bare with me.

I am so thankful to have a family with as rich of traditions as we do. Every year since I can remember we have had a themed Thanksgiving. From Polish Thanksgiving, to When Pigs Fly (pink) Thanksgiving, to Spanish Thanksgiving, we have had it all. Each with its own special food to go with the theme (pink mashed potatoes, traditional Polish dishes, etc.) and each, of course, with costumes and names. Keeping with tradition, if you don’t have a name to go with the theme, you don’t eat. If you don’t have a costume, you don’t eat. We have games with VALUABLE prizes to be won and just so much laughter it can get a little overwhelming. I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. When I moved to Fayetteville for school, the themes kind of took a back seat because it was too far for me to drive to New Orleans, but, thanks to my awesome brother and sister-in-law THE THEMES ARE BACK!!

Since it was their first time to host, obviously, the theme was the First Thanksgiving. We all dressed as Indians and Robley’s mom was the lone pilgrim. Robley’s parents were awesome and got way more into it than I think we were all expecting. Everyone looked super cute and it was really great to be surrounded by that much love and that much happiness. It also made me realize how lucky Brad is to have such fantastic in-laws. Seriously, they’re amazing. I couldn’t ask for a better sister-in-law, and her parents are just as fabulous as she is. They’ve also made me realize that having a spectacular, theme loving, good sported family is a requirement for the man I marry.

I am thankful for the opportunity to spend the holidays with my family. I am thankful for the family I have, who shower me with more love than I could ever imagine. I am thankful for my parents and for my brother and sister-in-law for showing me examples of awesome marriages that work and will last. I am thankful for my sister for showing me that there is more than one type of strength. I am thankful for the opportunities my parents have given me and allowed me to have that many other kids my age wouldn’t. I am thankful for the growing experiences this year has thrown my way so far, even if they weren’t exactly the experiences I had planned or had hoped for, I am learning a lot about myself this year and for that, I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody!

P.S. If you would like to see pictures, please refer to my Facebook within the next couple of days!

What do You Want to do With That?

If I had a dollar for every time somebody asked me what I want to do with my major I wouldn’t even need to be in college. I would just take the money and create the life I want for myself. But instead, I’m faced with the awkward situation of explaining that I really don’t know what I want to do.

I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life. And that is TERRIFYING to me.

In a perfect world, I would be an undergraduate student forever, while getting paid to be in school, and just get to take classes on things that I think are cool and interesting and just never stop learning. That’s what I want to do. Never stop learning. I feel like there is always something more to know about a subject which I think is what drew me to majoring in history. But the world isn’t perfect, and I cant major in cool stuff.

I know I don’t want to go to law school, which is what most people assume I think. Part of me wants to teach, but only high school and only at a good school, but again the world isn’t perfect and things in the school system are changing which leads me away from that. Part of me wants to work in a museum, but that makes me worried that I’ll just be stuck behind a computer booking tour groups for elementary aged students forever and that just makes me want to vomit.

But it terrifies me that I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to listen to endless lectures on “well if you ask me you should…” I don’t want to hear all the pros and cons of each career path I think I’m interested in. But at the same time, I don’t want to start doing something and then figure out I hate it.

I’m not really so much concerned with what I want to do though. I know how I want my life to be and, to me, knowing what I want for myself is more important that what I want to do. I feel like that will fall into place as I am achieving the things that will make my life what I want it to be. I know I want to be happily married. I know I want to live in a big house, have dachshunds, have a couple kids, and be able to give them a great life. I know I want to make people happy. I know I want to do something that makes an impact on peoples’ lives.

So when people ask me what I want to do with my major, can I just say ask me in ten years when I’ve figured it out?

I'm Getting There

Two months

So it has officially been two months since Nick and I broke up.

Where am I now?

Healing is a difficult process, and it definitely is something that I struggle with. I hate change, I hate things that take time, and I hate having to wait things out. And that literally all this process is.

For the most part, I have accepted what happened and am moving forward. I am generally happy about what is going on in my life and all of the things that have happened to me in these two short months. It feels like it has been such a long time I honestly can’t believe it has only been two. I have realized that I have an amazing support system around me outside of Nick and have grown to appreciate that more than I ever think I would have, so for that I am grateful.

Like I’ve said before, the hardest part about this is not having my best friend. I don’t feel like we have any animosity towards each other and I know that neither one of us is mad so it’s not like we can’t talk and we do on occasion, but I miss that comfort of the every day contact. Of having that person that you could just talk to for hours and not want to slap them. I know that things have to change because, obviously, our relationship is different now, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

So it’s two months later. I am learning how strong I am, how great my friends are, how big of a support system they are. I am moving forward, but I still have days where I get sad. In my head, I feel like people expect me to be completely over it by now but I know that’s not true. I’m not completely over it, by any means. I’m moving forward and am happy but I still have some hope that we will be able to work things out and get back together, or at least be best friends again. Even though I know that most likely isn’t going to happen. I know that in time our friendship, my heart, and everything else that kind of got turned upside down will heal. I just hate waiting and not knowing what is going to happen. This is a big growing up moment for me, and it’s definitely difficult. Every day is different. But every day I can wake up and know that I’m okay and know that I am loved. I have good days and bad days and my good days out number the bad, so I feel like I’m doing okay.

I’m getting there.

Busy, Busy Weekend!

This weekend/week was super busy. First, it was homecoming week! This is always something that is really exciting because I feel like since my high school didn’t have football I kind of missed out on that. All week the sororities and fraternities were working on different competitions for homecoming including lawn decorations, banner competitions, a float for the parade on Friday, and other things. All the decorations have to do with the theme which was “Every Day is a Hog Holiday.” AOII’s holiday was Cinco de Mayo which we referred to as Cinco de Hogo.  

Other holidays included Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, 4^th of July, Valentines day, and Mardi Gras. All of the houses did a GREAT job. Congratulations to the ladies of Kappa Delta and Phi Mu for winning the homecoming competition!

After the homecoming parade and pep rally we had a date dash function that was themed “Throw down for your Hometown.” Of course I don’t have anything from high school here so I borrowed a gloriously sequined twirling uniform from my friend Taylor. We all got ready at the house together and then headed to the function. It was a blast…until I discovered that I had broken out in hives! Needless to say I decided I needed to leave. My friend Mary left with me and helped me find a Benadryl and make sure the hives went away as quickly as possible. We concluded that the hives were from a mix of an allergic reaction to the sequins/fabric/whatever it was washed in and being incredibly hot. It was the strangest thing! As soon as they showed up they were gone. I took a shower and the Benadryl and they went away very quickly and never came back. Hives aside, the function was a blast!

Today I started working at my new job! I am now a member of the Savoy Tea Company crew and I love it! The drive to Rogers kind of stinks but the job is very fun so far and my bosses and people I work with that I have met so far are very nice. The atmosphere is great. Organized, clean, friendly, welcoming, and fast paced. Just like I like it. It is very easy to learn, and I am very excited to see what this has in store for me. 

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for all the opportunities I have had in my life. I have been blessed to be able to do a multitude of things and meet a multitude of people along the way whom I don't think I would have met any other way.

I am thankful for all of the things I have been able to accomplish at such a young age and for my friends and family who have supported me through out the way.

Short post today, but still important to be thankful.

Until next time!

ITS FALL Y'ALL

So fall has officially fell and it is glorious. A little early to be this chilly at night if you ask me, but it still does not offset the fact that I LOVE the fall.

Growing up in Louisiana I never really felt like I got to experience fall. We had it, but it did not come gradually like it does up here in Fayetteville. It was like “okay today the leaves changed colors.” And then the next day they would be gone, and the next day it was winter. Here fall lasts for more than three days and I can just soak it all in. All of its fally goodness.

I love the crisp bright colors of fall while everything is changing. Crunchy leaves make a wonderful symphony of sounds as I walk to class. The smell of bonfires and spice wafting through the air. The best. Fayetteville in the fall is like none other. I’m not going to lie, getting to experience a “real” fall was something that drew me to the university. Winter is another blog post for another day…

Today I got to go to a lovely Fall themed sisterhood with the wonderful women of AOII. We went to McGarrah Pumpkin Patch and had a GREAT time. There were bonfires, a haunted hayride, a haunted corn maze, pumpkins galore. It really was great to get to have silly fun and laugh with my sisters. These girls truly have become a second family to me and it is the best feeling to be able to just forget about school and worries of life and just have fun together. I can’t wait until our next sisterhood!

 

With that, I am going to cozy up in my sweater and blanket, light my vanilla spice candle (they’re a dollar at Walmart and they smell FANTASTIC) and get to work on homework.

Happy fall yall!

Spooktacular and Conway!

Halloween is just around the corner so of course AOII had to have a function! This year the function was with Alpha Chi Omega and Alpha Delta Pi for an Alpha Spooktacular!!

My date and I went as Mary Poppins and Burt. Some of my friends’ costumes included Toddlers and Tiaras, a dalmation, a cheerleader, Sandy, and an 80s work out star. We went to my friend’s date’s apartment beforehand to hang out and get ready for the function. We all had a great time and Halloween season has officially begun.

 

Monday there is a sisterhood for all of AOII. We are going to a pumpkin patch and are going to do all kinds of fall activities. CAN’T WAIT! I’ll be sure to blog about that later.

Friday after class my friend Mary and I drove to Conway, Arkansas to spend the weekend there for the Arkansas game versus Ole Miss. We went to a restaurant called Stoby’s for dinner, which had the best cheese dip ever. We ran a couple of errands with Mary’s mom and then went to sleep to get ready for a very early morning game.

the things you find in Hobby Lobby

Saturday morning came bright and early with a 7:30 AM wake up call to get ready for the tailgate and the game. We got ready and then headed towards War Memorial Stadium in Little Rock. After about 45 minutes of tailgating with one of Mary’s friends we decided that it was way too cold to be tailgating and decided to call Mary’s mom to come get us.

In Front of the Arlington Hotel

silly shoppers

After we left the tailgate we decided that we would go to Hot Springs, Arkansas and visit Mary’s lake house on Lake Hamilton and then visit the shops in down town Hot Springs. We ate lunch at a delicious Mexican restaurant called La Hacienda and then hit the stores! We both found some great jewelry that I can’t wait to wear out. After a quick trip to Mary’s lake house we headed back to Conway to celebrate her dad’s birthday. 

This weekend was a great adventure and a great time. Being back in Hot Springs brought back so many great memories from going to camp there and made me miss being there every summer. Even though we didn’t make it to the game, I still had a wonderful time with Mary and her family.

Until next time!

Thankful Thursday... A Little Late!

Okay so I know its not Thursday but I got like knee deep in school stuff and there was a function so I had to take a time out. So instead, we will have Thankful Sunday!

This week I am thankful to have the friends that I do. This semester has been a definite roller coaster and my friends have been there with me through every dip, curve, and rise. I have had so much fun with them this semester and I can’t believe our junior year together is almost over. I’m thankful for the things we have gotten to do together like functions, trips to the zoo, Little Rock games, and thousands of shopping trips.

 

 

I am thankful that they will always be here for me to pick me up when I am down and help me through tough times. I’m thankful that they can laugh with me when things get a little crazy and be silly together. You girls are amazing and I can’t imagine my life without you.

Wild Weekend Adventures

This weekend was quite the exciting one between initiation and a trip to the zoo!

Initiation was Friday night and I can’t even believe it has been 2 years since I was initiated. It brought back memories about that night when I was a freshman and all the excitement around it. I’m so happy for my new, official, sisters to be a part of AOII! I’m so happy for my Grandlittle (I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I’m a grandbig) and can’t wait to see what AOII has in store for her!

Saturday my friend Sarah and I took a trip to the Wild Wilderness Safari drive through zoo in Gentry, Arkansas and it was probably the best thing I’ve done in Arkansas in a long time. I went in expecting rinky-dink, because lets be honest its Gentry, Arkansas, but it was FANTASTIC! There was so much more to it than I expected and was pleasantly surprised. The zoo just had two baby lions and they were SO cute!! Of course we had to go hold them and that was an experience that was way too cool, and hilarious.

Baby lions are like giant kittens and the poor Kappas in front of us found that out after the poor girl got her hair basically eaten by the baby lion and another girl got peed on. Both equally hilarious incidents and I was beyond glad that I was not on the receiving end of either one of those situations.

  

After Sarah and I checked out the baby lion multiple times we jumped in my jeep and headed on the safari. 

Side note: again, thanks Mom and Dad for the jeep I don’t think the corolla could have made it through the safari. The animals were fabulous and sometimes terrifying.

Enter: the emu. These birds were HORRIFYING and everywhere!!! And they would come right up to your car and peck at your windows. I felt like I was in Jurassic Park and shortly after they came up to my car a velociraptor would be next.

pure Jurassic Park terror

Emus aside, the zoo was great and so was initiation. Congratulations baby pandas! And if anyone wants to go to the zoo, call me I’ll be more than happy to go

Thankful Thursday

CLEARLY it is Thursday, so what am I thankful for this week? AOII and my fantastic little, Emily!

AOII – Obviously, AOII is a huge part of my life and I couldn’t be more okay with that. I’m so proud to carry on the legacy for my family. I really wish that my grandmother was still alive to be able to share this journey with me, but hearing my dad talk about how passionate his mom was for AOII and how much she loved it makes me love it that much more. Over the summer I realized that we both joined our chapters within their first five years of being on their campuses, which was something that was really cool to me. I am so happy that AOII has connected me with so many amazing women whom I get to call my best friends. Sure sometimes I get frustrated with them or with AOII, but what kind of family would we be if we didn’t? The good times with AOII always out number the bad and I couldn’t be happier or more proud to be a part of this sorority.

Which brings me to my little, Emily. I am sooo SO happy that I get to call you my little for the rest of my life! You seriously are one of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege to meet. I have met some pretty strong people in my life, but Emily, you take the cake. You face challenges that I can't imagine having head on and still can hold your head high and have a wonderful attitude. I didn’t know you very well when we picked our littles my sophomore year, but I knew that you were going to be mine. You had to be. That was the end of the story. You are so quirky and fun to be around and you completely accept my weirdness and my quirks. I truly feel like you are another sister that I never had. Being the youngest in my family, I always wondered what my older brother and sister felt like looking after me and now I know what that feels like thanks to being your big. I want to protect you and I want only the best for you. I love you like you are a part of my own biological family and I am BEYOND thankful that you are my little and are a part of my life. You’re fantastic, Emily and I will ALWAYS be your big.