What do You Want to do With That?

If I had a dollar for every time somebody asked me what I want to do with my major I wouldn’t even need to be in college. I would just take the money and create the life I want for myself. But instead, I’m faced with the awkward situation of explaining that I really don’t know what I want to do.

I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life. And that is TERRIFYING to me.

In a perfect world, I would be an undergraduate student forever, while getting paid to be in school, and just get to take classes on things that I think are cool and interesting and just never stop learning. That’s what I want to do. Never stop learning. I feel like there is always something more to know about a subject which I think is what drew me to majoring in history. But the world isn’t perfect, and I cant major in cool stuff.

I know I don’t want to go to law school, which is what most people assume I think. Part of me wants to teach, but only high school and only at a good school, but again the world isn’t perfect and things in the school system are changing which leads me away from that. Part of me wants to work in a museum, but that makes me worried that I’ll just be stuck behind a computer booking tour groups for elementary aged students forever and that just makes me want to vomit.

But it terrifies me that I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to listen to endless lectures on “well if you ask me you should…” I don’t want to hear all the pros and cons of each career path I think I’m interested in. But at the same time, I don’t want to start doing something and then figure out I hate it.

I’m not really so much concerned with what I want to do though. I know how I want my life to be and, to me, knowing what I want for myself is more important that what I want to do. I feel like that will fall into place as I am achieving the things that will make my life what I want it to be. I know I want to be happily married. I know I want to live in a big house, have dachshunds, have a couple kids, and be able to give them a great life. I know I want to make people happy. I know I want to do something that makes an impact on peoples’ lives.

So when people ask me what I want to do with my major, can I just say ask me in ten years when I’ve figured it out?